My God, what a year it’s been. It’s been like being put in the washing machine, washed rinsed and spun over and over again. I think this for me as a singer has felt like the hardest year to go through. It’s been like an obstacle course, and I’ve fallen off and had to get back up over and over again. What else will be thrown my way? We are here to learn though, and I have learnt in bucket loads. Starting the year with nothing in my diary and getting myself out there has been a challenge, but I do feel that I’ve spent the year putting my dominoes in a line and they have started to move now. I just need to flow with it now. The good that’s come out of it has been amazing. I feel like I have a very different outlook on singing than I did this time last year. I’m striving less and flowing more. I’m not pushing for things or wanting things to be a certain way for ME, but surrendering to where I am being sent or what is being put on my path. Not the path I think, but the path that is the authentic one for me and the light I have to share with others.

I spent years pushing and trying to get somewhere in this goddam profession and I can’t be like that anymore. My aim is on how I can help others with the skills I have, and the community around me. It’s got me to the core of who I really am, and like I said earlier, I’ve put my dominoes in place now and they have started falling. All the having to organise things myself is much less for next year, as people are now asking me to come and sing for them and paying me instead of me having to take on the burden of it all, and do all the marketing and basically EVERYTHING. I know my strengths and I know I am not able to do it all. I just can’t anymore. It’s too much. It’s just far too stressful. I have bookings already for December next year. The main thing that matters to me is that I am being ME. I’m not having to change myself or do it in someone else’s way, and I have fought hard for that for years. On my terms, and in my way. I sing for ‘the people’ and I’m all about how I can connect with ‘the people’ and what I can do for them.

The things that have been difficult have been concerts being cancelled for whatever reason. The Yorkshire Proms at The Piece Hall knocked me for six when that was cancelled. That really upset me. The start of the year was getting people to come out again. Build up confidence. Then it’s been fuel prices and general prices going up. Then it’s been energy prices and people not wanting to spend as much, alongside the fact that I don’t have a name yet and people are not rushing to buy tickets to see me. I’ve put flyers through doors for hours, I’ve contacted soooooooooooooo many venues and not had replies; conductors, orchestras, and soooooooooooo many people to generate stuff this year, with only a few replying. It’s just how it is. In my concerts when I tell people that when I left The Flemish Opera in Belgium and went back to London, in 2 years I did one audition. Just one. That’s all I could get, and I didn’t get the job for the one I had. That was my reality, but a part of me wasn’t bothered because ‘opera for the people’ was doing its own thing, and ‘A Spoonful of Julie’ came into being and I loved my time in New York too. Lockdown happened, I did my singing thingy on the streets and really learnt what community is about, and this year has been about establishing myself somewhere (rather than being based nowhere), and the roots have been planted. My tree can finally start to grow now.

I’m just on the other side of laryngitis. Another knock at my busiest time of year. Just woke up a week ago and my voice was not ok. I had a cough and cold in October and carried on singing (to do the gigs I had) and even though my voice was fine, it just never got the time to fully recover and it just gets to a point where ‘the computer says no’. Gone. Have to rest. Usually I am neurotic about taking care of myself if I lose my voice and I absolutely HATE having to pull out of work and opportunities, but this time I just accepted it, cancelled the work I had, took away the stress from myself and have been on walks in nature with my dog and Jon. The worrying about my voice since October has literally really not been enjoyable and it has to stop in general. All these obstacles this year and I’m still standing and the world hasn’t ended, so the stress and pressure I put on myself has to stop too. Clean slate next year. You honestly have no idea of the hours I have spent worrying over the years. What a waste of my energy.

I love the stuff I’ve done. I started in the Yorkshire Dales in village halls, and it’s led to more concerts there, Grassington asking me back but also asking me to give a concert for kids too in various schools. Skipton Town Hall have got funding for over 2 months of Soup and Singalong Sessions in January and February (one or two a week, and inspired by Lost Chord who came up with the idea); Brighouse have given me funding to do 5 sessions in Brighouse and Rastrick too. I’m teaching in a school 4 hours a week and really enjoying working with the kids. They did a performance of Annie a few weeks back and they honestly shone for themselves. It’s the first musical some of them have ever done, and it felt great to be part of the team putting it together with them. I am really looking forward to doing more stuff with them. A great bunch of kids. I’ve been invited down to a school in Hertfordshire too to sing for the kids and do some workshops with them, and I start taking a singing group every Tuesday too. Concerts are coming in, people are asking me back. Spot On Lancashire want me to go and see them in January as they want to help me get some funding. They suggested it to me. It’s their idea. I’m performing next year too for the Cumbrian Rural Touring and Yorkshire Rural touring too, and the Yorkshire Proms will be rescheduled too. I start the radio show on Phoenix FM on January 8th from 4pm to 6pm every other Sunday too. It’s ‘Classical for the people’, and I want people to help me to put the show together by telling me their favourite classical pieces and the stories behind them. I met a guy last weekend who lived with his Italian Auntie in London when he was studying years ago and she sang at Covent Garden, duetting with Pavarotti, and he went to see her many times. I would have loved to have seen Pav. I get shocked by the stories I hear because I don’t expect them. I hear so many stories from people and I want to feature them on my show. Make it really about ‘the people’. Jon is doing it with me too. He knows loads about classical music. Please send me a message or email me on nicolamillsthesinger@hotmail.co.uk if you would like something played for you on the radio, and tell my why too.

I also need to be very aware of pacing myself too. Give myself spaces to rest. I would rather do less events so I don’t get into the prison of worrying about my voice. I’ve always been waiting for something ‘more’ to happen. For a break of some kind. I’ve chased it for years, and really the reality is that I will sing for many people and I will go home at the end of it and carry on as normal, and if I touch and inspire anyone along my journey then I’ve done what I came here to do. I’m in a very different place to where I was this time last year. I had got to the point where I was sick of singing on the streets for people in the cold, and wanted more, and now there are lots of new and beautiful opportunities that I’ve done and will be doing in the future too. Let’s see what happens. I’m sure this time next year I’ll be able to say I’m in a different place to now.

I wish you all a wonderful Christmas doing whatever Christmas means to you. For anyone that’s supported me, and spent their money on coming to watch me sing, and for those that have then passed my name on, a heartfelt thank you. I’m singing at The Circle, Bacup on New Years Eve, and my next Julie show is on January 21st at Norton Museum and Gardens, Runcorn, and then after that I’m at St. Mary’s in the Baum in Rochdale with ‘Opera for the People’ at 12.30 on January 25th. If anyone wants a soup and singalong session send me an email and if anyone just wants to say hello then do it too. I’ll be putting all my new dates on my website for next year in the New Year.

Wishing you all the best for 2023 and I’ll see you all in the New Year. Have fun!!!