Hi Everyone. Hope you are all doing well. Thanks for all your lovely comments of support after my last blog post. Just so nice to feel listened to and chivvied on by people. Thank you.

Things have definitely taken a step forward since my last post. I felt at ground zero, starting again. Really not a nice feeling if I am honest, after all my years of hard work to sing for people. A lot of fear too. We all find our comfort zones and comfort zones are a nice place to be because we feel a sense of security, so to push out of that definitely feels uncomfortable, but it’s something I’ve always done. Over and over again. My comfort zone was not working for me anymore, so time to make things happen again. My fella Jon is helping me. Other people are helping me. I’m learning that I don’t have to do it all on my own anymore. We just sat and started googling venues, and making spreadsheets, and emailing and calling. We decided to sing in some village halls in the Yorkshire Dales.

I feel that I have to play it a bit safe at the moment. I can’t be booking big venues that cost a lot of money, so I feel I have to be clever about how I do things. Village halls are not expensive to hire, and as there is only me going when I do ‘Opera for the People’ I don’t have the pressure to sell lots of tickets to make it work. I also think my ethos is about it being for ‘the people’, and anyway it’s nice to take it to more rural places where they might not get something like that so often. I called the first place and the woman wanted to set a date straightaway. I wasn’t expecting that, so it took me all of 10 minutes to get the first date in the diary. Not so difficult.

I was up in Grassington last Saturday putting posters and flyers up in shops for my first ‘A Spoonful of Julie’ at Grassington Town Hall (honestly, that is one friendly little village, and i’m booking bigger venues for my Julie show). I want this show in theatres. I am really happy I am doing it there first now, as I reckon I’ll get a lovely warm and friendly welcome from people and it will be just the start ‘A Spoonful of Julie’ needs. Anyway, Jon drove me around. He knows I don’t really like driving and I got him insured on my car, so he drove me around all day and we visited all these little villages in the dales to deliver flyers to the contacts I have for each place. For the one in Burton and Lonsdale, I knocked on the ladies door ( I hadn’t told her I was going), and straightaway she invited me in for coffee and cake. I honestly love all that shit. People showing their hearts and community. I had been worrying about getting people in, and after last Saturday, I thought ‘you’ll be alright Nick’, people are helping you. People will come. Why do I not value what I do and see it’s worth? Why do I not think people will want to come? I have a lot of light to give when I sing. It IS my way of giving love to people, and I have to trust that people will be guided towards my light too. A totally different concept in my mind. I am putting the pieces in place and doing what I can, and then it’s up to people if they want to be there. There are times I feel stressed and there are times I’m stuck in the worry, but I think that’s normal too. I know many people stay in their comfort zone all their lives and part of me can totally see why. It’s not easy stepping out of it.

So I have 7 ‘Opera for the People’ that I have organised and 4 ‘A Spoonful of Julie’ shows so far. I’m waiting to hear from another 4 about dates for the Julie show and am organising some more ‘opera for the people’ ones too. Just step by step, and offers of work from other people too. It all starts from the middle of March. I’m hoping to just get things going again. Get a flow going, and then it will build some momentum and just go for itself. Flow with life. This is the hardest part, the getting it going again, but once that happens it will be easier. I’m looking forward to seeing how ‘A Spoonful of Julie’ develops too. It never really got going two years ago. I’m excited to see it ground itself, and build up a rapport with the pianists I do it with, and to see it settle and grow. I reckon it will change and evolve into something more than what it is now, and I’m excited to see how it does. That just takes time, and doing it more and more.

I have two pianists to work with now in the North. I love who I worked with on it before. Two great pianists, but logistically I can’t make it work right now when they are so far away. Hard to rehearse and get it ready, so I have Rachel and George on board now. Both really different again, so each one will bring their personality and style to it. Make it their own. We are a team together. I’ve noticed with both of them how they are used to being in the background when they play for people (has that happened to pianists?), and I want them up front with me. I NEED them to create the emotions with me, to bring me up and down with it and to ebb and flow with me and be with me all the way. They say most singers are the ones at the front. We are definitely equal. I’m looking forward to getting to the point where we really buzz together and it musically comes together so we can relax more and let it flow.

I’m also doing my dance moves again this week. I’ve been practising them in my apartment, and I get time with a dancer again on Thursday. It’s fun. I’m no dancer by all means (definitely not like Julie in that respect), but I’ll do my best and grow in confidence with that too. I do put pressure on myself to get everything right, but at the end of the day, it’s not the end of the world if my moves don’t look slick. I need to give myself credit for trying. Noone can ever say I don’t do that. Been trying ever since I knew what trying was. In fact, I’m tired of trying and the pressure. I need to find a way to let go a bit and trust more. I no longer do things in the way I used to. I don’t have that city girl get up and go energy that I used to. Fast paced and pushing for things, but I do fear that if I am not like that things won’t happen, so it’s getting that conditioning out of my head that is my next challenge.

My life is getting a bit more normality about it. Whatever that is. Building a life with someone. Not on the move all the time like I was. Taking a holiday. We went down to Cornwall for a week in January. I’m not used to taking time off. My life has revolved around work. I said when I went down I would busk a bit (for the novelty of a new place), and then I thought ‘why?’ Does work and singing have to come into everything I do? I didn’t really want to when it came to it. I figure in time I will get a lot busier with work and I will sing many many more times for people, so I did not need to busk during my holiday. I’m honestly over standing on a street putting a tin out. No more Dick van Dyke for me.

We went for walks along the coast. It was stunning. Just beautiful and such amazing energy. It was really quiet too because it was off season. I love being out in nature. I love walking and I love being in the elements. It is medicine for me. I’ve definitely changed over the past two years. I don’t even recognise that person running around New York living life at a faster pace, loving it. Loving the adventure of it all. I baked a cake for Jon’s sons birthday. He wanted a strawberry cake. I love pleasing people.

So I have a month before things get going again. Time to practise it all and get it all ready. Flyers have been distributed, and posters are being put up, so I hope the people see it and come along. It’s time for me to be in venues again and to be doing my thing for audiences. Do come along if you can. It’s about what we create together. Every audience member is part of it too. Choosing from my Song Menu, or bantering with me and singing along in my Julie show. Without you ‘the people’ it doesn’t work. Tickets are for sale on www.eventbrite.com or www.ticketsource for my Halifax Playhouse show, and all links are on my website at http://www.iamnicolamills.com

Dates are as follows:

Opera for the People (all at 7.30pm)

March 19th Burton in Lonsdale

March 25th Embsay with Eastby Village Hall

March 26th Bradley Village Hall

April 9th Kettlewell Village Hall

April 23rd Eldroth Village Hall

April 30th Hellifield Village Hall

May 14th Wellington Rooms, Halifax

A Spoonful of Julie:

April 2nd Grassington Town Hall

May 7th The Barlow, Edgworth

June 10th Saltburn Theatre

June 25th Halifax Playhouse

SPREAD THE WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!