Some big fat ‘time out’.


Blog / Sunday, January 17th, 2021

I’m not sure where to start today. It’s been about 5 weeks since I wrote a blog post and I need to start writing them more frequently again. Before all this happened nearly a year ago, I was writing it every two weeks. I’ve been taking time out. For me. To look after my own energy and it feels really nice. I spent most of last year out and giving to others (which I loved), stood mostly on a street out in the cold so it feels nice to have some time out. I’ve not stopped working though.

I’m finding my passion for opera again. I can see that I lost it for quite a long time. Yes, I sang stuff from it but I wasn’t as bothered about it as I used to be, and I could feel as last year was coming to an end that I wanted to get back to my roots. Back to classical stuff. Back to putting my headphones on and pounding some classical stuff down my ears. I go for a walk every day now and sometimes walk around with a smile on my face listening to an orchestra blasting out. Bliss!!!!
I’ve started learning some new stuff too. I’m really working on my technique again too. I haven’t had the time or space for a long time. What with moving around so much over the last three years, and going back and forth to America, and then being back in Hebden Bridge but working on getting my Julie Andrews show out there, and then going singing for people on their streets most of last year, there hasn’t been the time or the space to do it. Or the space to do it where I live, but I have it now. My housemates are listening to some opera every day. Even the cat from downstairs comes and sits in my room with me and has a good listen. I was sat listening to the same aria over and over again the other night sung by the greats (Maria Callas etc…….) just in awe of how easy they make it look and sound. It is not easy at all.

I have an online event two weeks today (Sunday 31st at 5pm UK time) https://www.facebook.com/events/316962562978077/ .

This will be the second one I’ve done since lockdown started as I don’t want to go down the ‘let’s just accept the new normal and start going online’ route (because it’s not normal), and last night I thought ‘what if no one comes?’ I think sometimes I have to create a sense of it all being so important in my head, when really I’m just trying to keep it all going myself. With nothing in my diary at all for the forthcoming year and no sense of anything changing, I have no idea what this year will hold. I’m adding new songs to my list (before I go mental singing the same stuff) and I’m staying positive and enjoying having this time out to develop and grow again. It’s just continually putting yourself out there over and over again and sometimes I don’t think people realise how difficult that can be, but at the same time that’s the nature of the game.

I want to talk about December a bit. I want to thank everyone who donated to my ‘buy me a coffee’ thing. I appreciate every person who took the time to help me, and took the time to get in touch with me, and came out to listen or watch my advent calendar.

I had comments from people saying that it had made their Christmas and the ‘Walking in the air’ video got over 16,000 views (not sure how that happened). There were points when I really thought I had taken on more than I could handle vocally, and I had some stressful worrying times in my head about it all, and I did feel out of my comfort zone singing the lighter stuff, and it really was every day get up and go and sing. No real break time, but I did it. I got through it all, my voice was ok, I brought people together for a short time, and it helped people, and that’s my goal every time. To help the people stood in front of me. To put smiles on faces. I’ll be offering doorstep visits from February onwards. Not concerts as such. Just a little ‘few songs and a chat’ visit to anyone who is feeling isolated and would appreciate a little call, so do get in touch if I can help anyone.

One thing I enjoyed on New Years Eve was chatting to my friends and we all said what we had got from 2020. I’ve never done that before, and we all got such a lot. We all found a way to rise and make it work for ourselves and others. For me, it was one of the most rewarding years I’ve ever had, and one of the most humbling at the same time. I do believe there is still a lot more out there for me and that my journey is only just beginning. I do see myself back in America in my future and I see myself singing for a lot more people, but right now I have no idea how that will happen. Just a vision in my heart and mind that’s been there a long time.

I got a letter too from the lady in waiting to Prince Philip. A friend suggested that I write to him and and Queen (I had to be all posh in my letter saying ‘Her Royal Majesty the Queen and His Royal Highness Prince Philip’), but I told them about what I had been doing for people and actually got a reply.
Within 3 days too. Was nice to get that through the post, when I was stepping out of my comfort zone to do it too. I’ve done so much of that over the last five years since I started my ‘Opera for the people’ thing in Belgium. I faced so many fears as I went along and it forced me to come out of myself and start to put myself out there and learn to follow my heart and listen to my gut. It was about always making it work too. I still had a roof to keep over my head so I had to get out there and do it. No one else was going to come and rescue me. It’s nearly three years since I got rid of my things and went on the road as ‘a soprano a suitcase and a rucksack’ and what a journey it’s been. What a flipping journey!!!!!!! It has been truly amazing and all because of singing. Music has saved me every day since I was a child. It’s got me through the ups and downs and traumas of life, and helped me to come out on top every time. No matter what is going on in the outside world, me and singing are firm companions. Never to be messed with. The love of my life.

It’s got me in some right situations over the years. Ha ha. The other day I was walking and swimming in freezing cold water, to raise money for the homeless charity Crisis. My landlady and a group of other wild swimmers spend January every year swimming every day for charity, and she asked me to go and do it and sing a bit. I love a good challenge so I was right up the hill, snow boots on and togged up to keep warm, and just got right in there, had a bit of a scream and a laugh at how bloody freezing it was and then spent the rest of the day trying to warm my bum up (even had it right in front of a my fire for a while too). It was worth it though. The money went up by £1500 that day and now they are up to £20,000. Here’s the link if anyone wants to donate https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/januarydailydip21?fbclid=IwAR0V5PCfFjsexArmZq6FwwlJHy_Kt2_TiLR5tIgmyAA5r5YZWFm8vLaRc9I

Please do tune into my online concert if you can. Sunday 31st Jan at 5pm. I’m doing some new stuff too which always makes me feel nervous and vulnerable and I would love some moral support from the ‘people’. It’s the second online concert I’ve done in all this time, as I believe in real contact with people and not down a machine, and won’t really accept the ‘new normal’. It’s not normal, but if you feel like popping in to say hi that would be bloody lovely. At least I can reach people who I can’t get to in person, and I’m still doing my singing thingy. Here’s the link again (organised by a cool little pub in Halifax called ‘The Grayston Unity’).
https://www.facebook.com/events/316962562978077 It’s free with a donation link too, so tell all your friends too.

Get in touch if you would like a doorstep visit or someone else who I can help. Have a lovely day everyone, wherever you are.

http://www.iamnicolamills.com

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