I can’t believe how much things have changed in three months. Three months ago I did my Julie Andrews show in London. Not many people came because all this virus thing was just getting going and the fear had been pumped into people, so people were staying home (no idea how many would have come without the virus anyway). Three months down the line and there’s just no end to it. I would have done my run of shows around the UK, and maybe I would have done the Disney Roadshow and now I would have been back in New York for the Summer.

Instead, I’ve not left Todmorden where I’m living apart from a few car rides with my Gina (who is my landlady), a visit to Manchester to see a friend from NY who is living there at the moment (originally from Radcliffe so she’s a Northerner), and up to Ripon to sing for Susan for her birthday.

I don’t even know what to think about it all anymore. Where do I go from here? I’ve made a few choices within myself. I don’t want to do things online. I will do an odd thing but my new normal is not singing down a iPad screen to an invisible audience. It’s not what I trained to do. I trained to sing for audiences. I bond with my audience. I build a connection with them. It’s what I do.

I have an audience in front of me and I work out their vibe, what will work, and what banter to use so it connects to them, and the songs then connect. I’m always conscious that what I am doing is not to everyone’s taste, especially in a working class place like Todmorden, but I’ve found that if I create the right vibe and atmosphere and find the right approach to how I chat to people and what stories I tell, I can find a way to make it work for most people that I sing to. I hear loads of times people say ‘I don’t like opera but I enjoyed what you were doing’. It’s about finding the hook that pulls that particular audience in.

I had it the other day. It was raining, it was cold. I turned up outside a block of flats. People were waiting. Some were smoking. We put the chairs under a set of trees so it stopped us getting wet, but it was cold and I knew I just wasn’t getting them. You see it. They are distracted, looking other directions, and not really engaging, so I have to really think on my feet and come right down to their level. Get them involved so they feel part of it. Make sure what I do works for them. That’s work too. Not just standing there singing. This is the message I got later from the carer who organised me to sing there:

“Hi Nicola. I just wanted to tell you that I’ve had endless messages and phone calls from people at Yewtree Court. You managed to lift every single one of them. They cannot thank you enough for your spectacular singing and your banter with them, and they are very eager to book you again. One of the ladies would also like to buy a cd. Thank you for bringing the residents together and giving them a fantastic afternoon”.

I’m not going back to theatres anytime soon and if venues are made to social distance each event it’s not financially viable to do any shows. It won’t even cover my costs if not enough people are allowed in and it’s not what going to a live music event is about. It’s about the atmosphere and creating that experience for people where they can forget about their lives for a while and be transported somewhere else. My theatre now is wherever anyone wants me to sing and where I can be of help to others. I will go where I am asked to go. For me there’s nothing social about distancing yourself from others.

There are so many negative and low vibe frequencies put out into the consciousness and it’s my job to blast some light out to people. Enough is enough. There are just too many lower vibes in the air, keeping us fearful. The carer the other day told me she is dealing all the time with people who want to end it all. People who are now too scared to go out. It’s gone too far. Way over the top. This is not right to do this to people.

I am getting opportunities that I feel really privileged to do for people. Singing to people who sit in the windows (the video above was for Suzy who is dying from cancer and likes Pavarotti), others who listen from inside, others who bring a chair and set up, people with terminal illnesses, people who haven’t left their home in months, for birthdays. Next week I’m singing at a funeral and for a couple of birthdays too. I know I’m helped by spirit. I’ve always been into all this and I’m tuning into it more and more.

I feel that I have a Native American Indian chief with my at the moment as a guide with a lot of warrior energy, and there’s always the presence of a monk who says nothing, but is my bodyguard. They are all helping me to create the frequency that heals people, and music holds lots of different frequencies.

A lot of the mainstream stuff has been cleverly done to blast out lower frequencies that we don’t even realise, and the TV and news are two of the biggest culprits. I stay off them as much as possible. I don’t want that stuff in my vibe.

So what does the future hold? I don’t know. I don’t know what will come out of all this. I don’t see myself back in America any time soon. Where I live now was only temporary and there’s no point going back on the road from place to place. It just won’t work right now.

I don’t want to go back to singing where the shops are. I don’t like all the control that will go on now for people who want to shop, and as an empath, I will pick up on all that and will react to the energy. Not for me. I do know that I have changed on the inside and there’s no going back. This photo is what my new normal should be looking like.

An apartment is coming available that’s currently being done up and will be furnished in the centre of Todmorden so I’m looking at that next week. I want my own space again. Two and a half years of living in others people’s spaces (over 65 different places), so enough is enough with that too. I’m getting to know people here. I still never pay for my cheese. The woman won’t let me. I go to the kindness hub and they give me whatever they have and tell me when I get this apartment (because it will happen. Through a friend of a friend so it’s mine if I want it), they will help me to get set up with everything I need. I just need to ride this all out until things become clearer. I’m also seeing if I can do a classical concert in the park here next year. No idea how to do it.

Just an idea right now, but there’s an old bandstand full of character that people are trying to save and the park is perfect for this kind of thing. It’s not a posh place, so even more reason to bring it to the people. Get more and more away from classical music and opera only being enjoyed by a higher class of person. People are already trying to give me advice on how I can make this happen. I live in a real community.

I’m singing somewhere this afternoon. On a typical Northern terraced street and someone from the press is coming to take photographs. They contacted me. They asked if I would wear a ball gown at first but it’s not what I’m about. I’m about getting away from the stereotypical image of an opera singer and to be honest, if I rocked up here in a ball gown forget making a bond with my audience. They would be like ‘what the hell is this? Ha ha. I would then have to work doubly hard to create a connection. Doesn’t work. Most of the time it’s about keeping warm and dry so I rock up in my jeans. The other day I sang outside an old folks home here, me outside and the people inside watching through the open doors. Really singing in the wind. They called and asked if I would still be going. Absolutely. It’s all about the people.

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