There’s definitely one thing that’s coming out of this lockdown and that’s I’m learning to switch ‘off’. I’ve been switched ‘on’ most of my life. In survival mode a lot. Make the singing work, what can I do next?, no one to fall back on so have to make it work. That’s been my treadmill for a long time. My rats wheel.

If I don’t make it work I am screwed so there’s been a fear and panic constantly running through my system. This has to go. I can’t function through it any more. It’s taken what’s happening now for me to realise and I feel better. I’m enjoying not having the pressure at the moment. I’m enjoying my walks and sitting on hills in nature in the sun with my bare feet on the ground learning how to ‘be’ and not be ‘doing’ for once. Even having a wee behind a tree. Proper nature girl. Hugging a few trees too to absorb their energy. I’m all for au naturale. It’s the best medicine. That and sleep. It’s good to rest a bit.

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I’m also looking after my elderly neighbour. She’s in her 80’s and home alone. We’ve been writing letters to each other, and I’ve been getting her shopping and setting up classical and opera playlists on my iPad to give to her for the afternoon with my speaker. We’ve started cooking for her too. Passing on home cooked food for her. She asked me to buy her a pile of ready meals and I was like noooooooooooo. I don’t eat that junk.

Full of chemicals and salt so that was when me and my housemate Gina started cooking for her. It’s lovely to be connecting with more people where I live. Chatting to more neighbours. I even asked some of the neighbours to get their kids to do her some Easter Cards.

I am doing some singing. Making sure I do my exercises every day so I don’t get too out of practise and singing when I feel like it. I know at some point it will get going again so I am going to enjoy this downtime given to me. There’ll be plenty of time to be ‘on’ in the future, and no one knows what will be left of the music industry anyway. Any industry. Where will things be at the end of all this?

I did a video for a friend this week. Well, someone who has been a good support recently and they said they were finding the lockdown challenging so I just did a short video for them as a gift. It’s what I can do for people. I was also in my kitchen peeling tomatoes after getting a massive box from the local shop (surplus from suppliers who can’t supply to restaurants) and I felt like singing ‘Somewhere over the Rainbow’ so I did a Facebook live. I’ve also got a Facebook live event organised too for April 25th. There’s a cracking little pub/bar in Halifax that’s the smallest live music venue called ‘The Grayston Unity’ and the guy who runs it has asked me to do a live event through them. I should have been doing my show in Durham so this will be nice. Live from my living room instead (well, Gina’s living room which we both painted today).

I’ve done a few videos for a theatre school to pass onto their students and I’m teaching an 11 year old girl online for free in Calgary, Canada. I also got interviewed by someone I used to study with at The Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama who is doing an online course for beginners. Someone else is interviewing me next week too. Nice to see things are still coming when I’m not actually putting myself out there.

I will start putting myself out there though. My demos are finally ready. We decided on a shorter more wam bam version https://youtu.be/Fs2srDyh2LY

and a longer ‘if you like what you see in the first and want to see more’ version.
https://youtu.be/ljgiQqZwK-4

I like them both and I’m scared to send the wrong one out to people and it not work because they show really different things. I’m getting my graphic designer to put a cool email together with all my info that I can send out. It has to make an impact, and then I have to make a list of people to send it to. I know Andre Rieu will be on the list. No idea yet who else. Got to work it out. Got to get on the internet and get myself out there. See if it generates any opportunities for the future. At least I can send it round the world. I’ll ask my casting lady in LA too who I met in Charing Cross station last year. Got to be thinking big with it. I’m happy with the demos. I can’t really do any better and I did still have laryngitis in one part of my voice, so I’m pleased with what we did. I love the photos too. Really capture who I am.

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I just sat here saying to myself ‘Nick, you’ve just bigged yourself up’, and then I want to say to you all ‘maybe this show won’t be good enough. I know my voice isn’t that great’. The shitty dialogue that still goes on. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Bye bye shitty thoughts.

I’m learning though to send it out, sing for people and then let it go. It’s out of my hands then. Up to other people what they think of it. I do hope it opens some doors. I was getting myself out there and then it all stopped again. Every time I try to fly my wings get clipped. It’s time to start flying. I’m really in tune with my inner guidance and I know what my mission in life is. I’ve worked out I just need to stay positive, vibe as high as I can and bring it all to me. I don’t need to push and force and worry and panic and stress. I honestly do not want to go back to operating from that place.


A couple of my shows have been rescheduled for September. The 14th in Frome, Somerset and the 26th in Chepstow. Who knows how long this will all last. I’m not bothered. We won’t be given the gift of time out again so I’m grabbing it with both hands. Good to step back and see what really matters. If you fancy joining my ‘live’ event on April 25th here’s the link:

https://facebook.com/events/s/saturday-night-facebook-live-a/610873676129352/?ti=icl