Hello Everyone.

Here’s my story so far condensed into a few paragraphs (such is life).

Hi. I’m 41, single and a soprano. I’ve been here, there and everywhere with my singing thingy (Scotland, Glyndebourne, Holland for 4 years, Belgium for 4 years, and a few little trips to New York thrown in), working in various opera houses. I’ve spent the last two years singing on the streets and at events, building up my ‘own thing’ on the side of the traditional route, calling myself ‘Opera for the People’. I’ve sang in France, Holland, Belgium, Germany, the UK and America with that side of things, and been on Belgian TV and on the radio etc…..It’s been great really, just seeing what I can create myself. It’s just being down to earth with opera and singing for everyday people; and for kids; and raising money for charity. Using my skills to help others and making a living at the same time. This blog is about how I will get myself to America and find a way to live there. Follow my journey……

Here’s a video of how it all began……

It was whilst I was living in Belgium I started to sing on the streets. I just had the idea to do it and had such horrible nerves all the time. I was going through hell behind the scenes, and I hated being so nervous, and I just said to myself ‘I’m not enjoying this, and I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed singing a song without worrying about it. I was wondering why I was even singing in the first place. I needed something drastic to happen. I was the little girl singing along to The Sound of Music, Mary Poppins etc…, and over the years of competition and continual striving in the profession it had taken any love I had for it away. I was caught up in all the negative talk in my mind, so I thought ‘if I can sing on the streets I can sing anywhere’.

 

I was living in Belgium, but I knew my time there was coming to an end. My gut instinct is really strong and a year before I left I just felt that I was going to leave, and the feeling got stronger and stronger. It was time to move on, so I downsized big time, gave up my permanent job at The Flemish Opera that I’d had for four years (me and permanent don’t work so well together. Me and change work great together). I could have settled and had a really nice life, but I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. I knew I had to spend time in New York (even though I’d never been), and that I needed to go back to London (really not my favourite place to live), but I was just following what I felt I had to do. One, I was getting really homesick. If you’ve ever lived away from your own country, you’ll have some idea, but I really just wanted to go home. I was tired of living away. 8 years was long enough, and I wanted my own culture and language around me again.

I’ve been in London now for the last year and a half and the reason revealed itself to me not long after I moved back. I was stood on Oxford Street singing by a pizza van (all glam this busking business), and this guy came up to me and said he was a singing teacher and had been watching me. I knew I had some vocal problems and he was spot on with what he said and invited me for a lesson for free to see if he could help. One lesson turned into two a week, which I’ve been having since and this guy (who, by the way is 80) has taught me such a lot about singing and going back to basics and taking my time, and not pushing and turning things around. He’s been a real mentor to me. I will be eternally grateful for his attention and help. On a personal front, I made a few friends here but if I’m honest I always knew I wasn’t staying and didn’t really try so hard with all that. I almost felt I just needed a break and wanted to spend time alone and enjoy it, and I really have. In London it’s easy to be anonymous, and keep your head down, so I’ve been in my cave a lot just working on my inner stuff, which I’ve really enjoyed. I find London tiring to be out and about in. I just can’t take it so it’s been a good balance for me, but I am glad to be leaving. It’s just not the right place for me.

I’ve been travelling around a lot creating work, and organising my own events mainly up North (my own turf), and New York came on my path too. The first time was to sing for charities and as a volunteer and after a month of being there I just sat in Union Sq and thought ‘this is the place I will be in in the future’. Just a feeling from the bottom of my gut, and I just love the energy in New York.

This is me the first time I was there opening a film festival in Newark.

Which brings me to where I am right now. I’ve decided to leave London. I’m going on the road, with just myself, my suitcase and my rucksack with all my singing stuff in for singing on the streets. I got rid of most of my things (just a couple of suitcases and pictures gone to my brothers). Just travelling light and going on a path to ‘not really sure where’. I seem to not be able to settle anywhere, but I’ve decided to just go over to New York in May and live my 90 days there until I have to leave again and see what I can get going (if anything) over there. I’ve learnt that if you want something to happen you have to make it happen so best to just be there. Bite the bullet and just go for it. I don’t have a working visa but I honestly believe I’ll find a way in at some point.

If you’ve ever read ‘The Alchemist’ by Coelho, that’s me. Not ready to stop just yet. Believe me, at times I’m like ‘this is so hard, what the hell am I actually doing (when my stress levels are going through the roof)?’ Every day really, but at the same time I say to myself ‘did you expect to feel any different?’
Ever since I went to NY I’ve gone on and on about the place. Every little thing filmed there I’ve watched. Watched the whole Sex and the City thing again, watched Housewives of New York, and even had sounds of New York on youtube in the background (trying to tell the universe what I wanted by having the sounds around me). Completely nuts now I think about it. Last time I was there I felt I had to start seeing if I could create some opportunities, and I was walking around knocking on people’s doors saying ‘hello, I’m moving here next year (white lie there as I don’t even have a visa), and can I sing for you, teach for you, do anything for you? Not easy when you don’t even know where to start (most of the time I felt out of my depth and overwhelmed), but I did it and I’ll do it again, in my certainty that’s it where I need to be. There’s this craziness that I love in people there and it’s the vibe too. Just gets me.

Thus, A Soprano, a suitcase and a rucksack has been born. (loving the pearls on this piccie)

First stop is Monaco for a month, working at the opera house on a production of Peter Grimes by Britten. Really looking forward to this. A month in one place, by the sea, no singing on the streets for a while (February is the hardest and most miserable month to do it so I won’t miss it), and actually getting paid by someone rather than relying on people to put money in my box. I can’t think of a better first port of call really. Good food, beautiful place by the sea, some colleagues again (been on my own for a while now working). I’ll eat so much baguette I’ll be gluten intolerant by the end of it. I’m planning lots of behind the scenes practice too on my opera stuff (always loads of work to do getting arias up and running or improving them). I just need to do a lot of work whilst I’m there to prepare myself for future auditions should I be offered any. It never ends really. Anyone who thinks being a singer is glamorous it isn’t. It’s a lot of hard work and dedication with tons of rejection and people being mean to you. You have to have a skin so thick that you can cope with anything, and you have to know you cannot do anything else. It was only when I just started singing for every day people that I could see I am really talented and have so much to offer people.

From March onwards I’m on the road. Belgium, the UK (up North, Derby, Nottingham, Coventry, Leamington Spa and Stratford singing on the streets, and I’m doing my own Julie Andrews show (I LOVE JULIE ANDREWS, I LOVE JULIE ANDREWS AND I LOVE JULIE ANDREWS). I grew up with her and I want to sing her stuff so much, so I thought ‘do it Nick, just do it’. I’m devising a show of her music and her life and getting that up and running, starting in my home town of Oldham (13th April, St. Edwards Church Hall). It’s all ‘The hills are alive’ and ‘The rain in Spain’ in my house at the moment. I get these ideas though and set it all up and then I spend most of my time worrying about how I’ll actually do it. I’m reading and researching and choosing songs and then just praying it all comes together and I know what to do with it to make it a good night for people. Here’s a little sample….

I have a place to live in May in Brooklyn (thank god for airbnb), then I have absolutely no idea where I will live, or what I will do. If anything will happen there. I KNOW NOTHING!!!!! I did meet Jim the agent though last time I was there who said ‘I’ll help you to apply for a visa’. So far nothing has happened with him but I can’t give up hope yet that he won’t help me apply.

At the end of the day, I’ve chosen this uncertainty. I’ve chosen to fly by the seat of my pants and not know where I will be this time next year or what the year holds. I don’t expect it to be all smooth sailing. I expect some really shitty days too where I wonder what the hell I am doing (already having them), but it feels good to travel light. I’ve been running to the charity shops near me recently saying ‘take my stuff, have it, I don’t want it, it’s weighing me down, skipping off feeling a million times better for it’, and then panicking that I won’t have a cardigan to keep me warm next year and where will I be etc? I’ve done so many new starts in places that I’m like ‘not another’, but if we don’t take risks in life and we don’t follow our heart and gut, who are we? There’s a whole range of stuff going through my head. Where will I end up? What will I do when I get to NY? Where will I be this time next year? Am I actually going to enjoy being on the road with a suitcase or am I going to be grumpy and sick of pulling it around with me? How am I going to feel with no place that’s my own? I’m someone who loves being alone and I need that time for myself and if I don’t get that will I be ok?

I’m grateful that I can sing for people. I have something I can do universally. I’m unattached. I have no home, no job that keeps me in one place. I would be nuts to not do this (self talk here). I’m doing my Julie A research and I’m going to finish with a quote from her:

‘Everyone has been blessed with a great gift. Honour and respect it. Retain humility and remain open to the ideas of others. Remember it is the giving and the loving that sets you apart on the path to true joy and fulfillment and it will be, I assure you, returned to you tenfold’.

She also said when she was younger to her teacher that she didn’t want to sing opera because it was too depressing and sad and she would much rather sing the happier stuff. I can see her point when I’m comparing the two. ha ha

So to finish off, here’s a taster from my new CD….opera for the people, where I’m actually singing some opera (and not all the other stuff). ‘O mio babbino caro’ from Gianni Schicchi by Puccini (La Boheme is my favourite by him). I know it’s the general stuff, but when you are singing for ‘the people’ you have to sing the popular stuff.

 

 

My Soprano, a suitcase and a rucksack begins for real on January 31st, 2018.

Follow me on Facebook and check out my website at www.iamnicolamills.com

opera, busking, travelling, suitcase, single, soprano, music, opera for the people, julie andrews, America, New York.