Hello. It’s been ages since I’ve written a blog post and I’ve decided I’m going to do one a month from now on. The last one was just after the Women’s Institute convention in April, and since then a LOT has happened in my life. It’s been really quite stressful and I’m only just coming up for air and can breathe again. It really has been about keeping my head above water with my singing, whilst my personal life has been like being dragged through a hedge backwards. You should see the state of my hair. OMG.

Never again do I want to go through what we have been going through. The singing is going GREAT!!! Really pleased with opportunities coming in. I’ll be in Belgium twice in October (Oostende at the Belgian Tattoo, and Knokke for an Inner Wheel anniversary). Back to old places (I used to work at The Flemish Opera in Antwerp), this time truly as Opera for the People. I’ve also been invited to Germany and New Zealand next year, so logistics are being sorted out for that too. Woohoo!!! I had a dream and all that… and dreams really do come true. Somewhere over the rainbow. I’ve followed my heart and my inner mission and it’s paying off.

Jon was in and out of hospital, struggling to breathe, being given one set of drugs after another (I’m not a medication person), and to go through that with him was really hard. He spent weeks convalescing at home and not able to do much at all. We sat in the garden watching the birds and got excited about the ice cream van coming round (and now it’s stopped coming to our street, so I’m slightly gutted to not live my childhood again of going to the ice cream van). All ice creams taste better when you go to the ice cream van playing ‘O Sole Mio’.

It was an utter rollercoaster ride which we could see no end to at one point, but he’s getting back on his feet now and we’ve both learnt a lot. I absolutely love being in nature, and even more so now. I watch the squirrels and birds come to the bird feeder, take Buddy my dog into the woods and just sit there and let it heal me and help me to calm my energy.

We were just starting to get back on our feet with Jon when the landlord told us he was selling the house, giving us 8 weeks to find somewhere else. Last week we were about to move and it all fell through, so just when we thought we were getting straight again, we were thrown into more stress. Luckily with lovely agents they found us another house which we both really love, surrounded by fields and nature, in my favourite place in Holmfirth, so it’s worked out better, but I really don’t ever want to be in this situation again, and until we are in there and getting settled I can’t fully relax. It’s pushed us both to our limits. We have a new moving in date in a few weeks so I’m hoping things settle down then and we can start to have a life again.

On the singing front, I’m busy. Every weekend for most of the rest of the year. I have some free slots but things are getting pretty full, and things are coming in for next year. November and December still has availability. I got lots more opportunities after singing for 500 women in Scarborough, and it’s a nice feeling for venues to be coming to me to invite me rather than it being the other way around. I still struggle though. In new places where people don’t know me I struggle to get people in, but people are passing my name on so that really helps. I don’t have a manager anymore (her work tripled with her band she manages now so she no longer had time to invest in me), so it’s back to me doing it alone, but I don’t mind really. At this point in things I can sell myself better than anyone else and know what to say to people, and I just think things will naturally unfold as they have been doing.

I’ve sang at carnivals and was at a festival for a few days too. What a great experience that was. I saw the size of the tent, and was like ‘shit’. I rock up and feel a combination of utter fear and also excitement. Sometimes I feel for Jon before I go on. I’m just scared. Sometimes I sing for audiences that are not my usual people and then I worry people won’t like it. What I do is only mainstream when you have a huge name for yourself. Then people love it. I also sang for 2500 people at The Inner Wheel Centenary celebrations at The Manchester Convention Centre. That was absolutely amazing.

To walk out to such a crowd (again scared because there were 49 nationalities there and maybe they won’t understand me), felt amazing. Singing Italian to Italians thinking it won’t be good enough, but I need to stop all this worrying lark. It’s the perfectionism classical musician thing. Only good enough if it’s perfect, but I need to know most people are looking for connection and not perfectionism. I absolutely loved it that day. I loved being on that stage so much. I chatted to so many ladies from around the world after I had sung and just loved seeing the different national dress and just to feel in an international world again. I hear stories wherever I go. People want to share their lives with me too, and I love that. Since then I’ve been here, there and everywhere. Up to the Yorkshire Dales, North Yorkshire, at the Poulton le Fylde festival, down to Kettering yesterday, and possible bookings in Scotland too.

I’m in Ripon, Scarborough and Halifax this week, and then coming up I’m part of Ripon, Carry on Camping and Jam for Freedom Festivals, Kiplin Hall in Richmond, Kirkburton, Brockholes, Saddleworth, Halifax, Skipton, Altrincham, Preston, York. Lots to look forward to, but it all adds pressure too. To be ok. I know I haven’t been fully right the past few weeks as I actually forgot to go to an event I had on. Just forgot. I was mortified. I have never done that before and will hopefully never do it again. Thankfully the lady was compassionate and not angry with me and for every thing that goes wrong in all this, I learn valuable lessons. I’m used to never dropping the ball and a few times recently I have, helping me in a way to let go of perfectionism too.

I kept saying to Jon that I can deal with all the work I have on, but I can’t deal with all this in my personal life and deal with all the work I’ve got on, so keep your fingers crossed that the road will get smoother soon.

Anyway, I had a lovely time in Kettering yesterday and I enjoyed being in a new area to sing for people. I really like that when I get to spread my wings further. I’ve even had a poem written for me that I got sent to me today. It’s great when you know you have touched someone’s heart.

Please do keep supporting me. I am nothing without you (I know that’s not entirely true in my life), the people, having my back. My apologies for the last two radio shows. I thought repeat shows would be put on. It’s been one thing too many the past few shows so we thought we could put old shows on, but I realised yesterday that a playlist gets put on. We’ll be back next time. We really enjoy doing it.

It’s onwards and upwards now. A new home in a beautiful location in a few weeks, Jon back up and running, sunnier days, and reaping the benefits of all my years of hard work, discipline and devotion to the work I know I am here to do. Any Holmfirth people, buy your tickets for ‘A Spoonful of Julie’ too in September. Come and have a good singalong and lift your spirits with it. I know it totally gets me every time.

And on a final note, my wedding dress is coming along. A top couture dressmaker who I sing for is doing it for free for me. I pay for the fabric and she is making it for me as a gift. That fills my heart. I think we can both start to think about it more now. There have been times where I haven’t known whether to marry him or leave him. Meant jokily but also some truth to it too at times. Rollercoaster rides are not easy to stay on sometimes. We question everything, but we are in it for the long haul.

For all my events they are on my website at http://www.iamnicolamills.com I still have to put some on for next year but I don’t have the ticket details yet.