I’m sat on my bed writing this. It’s a Thursday morning. I don’t have much to do today apart from taking my ladies choir in Holmfirth tonight. I woke up with the songs they are doing in my head, and drilling coming from next door. I’m catching up on emails and planning programmes for things. I sang in Longridge on Tuesday for a U3A group which was a new audience for me. I like singing for people who haven’t seen me before. One lady said ‘I feel like we’ve had such a treat today’, and another lady came to chat to me in Dutch because she was originally from Arnhem. It was funny actually. I was coming towards the end of my slot, and I’d told some of my story and this lady said to me ‘Hang on, what happened with New York?’ So I had to tell more of my story. It shocked me because sometimes I think ‘maybe people don’t want to hear my story and I shove it on them’ but this lady was very much ‘you are not going home until I hear it’. Ha ha. I loved it really.

One thing I really like is hearing stories from other people. I can sit all day listening to someone tell their story and the twists and turns of their life. I find it fascinating, because EVERYONE has a story. Why do we not tell each other more. More human libraries. It breaks down barriers and creates more connection from the heart and more compassion for others. I had some of my barriers broken down last week. I was asked to sing in London last week for Max and Judith. I sang for them in 2017 at their anniversary. Judith had heard me busking in London when I lived there and then they got back in touch. Max is the Master for the year at the Barber Surgeons’ Hall and it was his first dinner he was hosting and he wanted me to sing. How lovely is that? So I toddled off to London and when I got there it was a hit of ‘shit, this is posh and I feel out of my comfort zone’. I felt like Eliza Doolittle, and not worthy to be there at the same time as feeling worthy because I was, but it was fascinating too.

So many interesting things on the walls to look at and old Royal documents and paintings, and Max took the time to show me around and explain some of the history to me. The Beadles/caretakers/butlers couple were lovely too, and the cloakroom guy called me ‘ma’am’. I sat and ate with the staff in the side room. I could have eaten with the guests but I chose not to. I can’t sit and make small talk if I am nervous and I need to just go off and warm up and get myself together before I sing. I had a lovely dinner, and the beadle guy encouraged me before I went in to sing to tell some of my story, so I did. Apparently they help a lot of students at The Guildhall School of Music with funding and performing opportunities so they wanted to hear my story too. Working class girl does opera.

My new tag line is going to be Victoria Wood meets Pavarotti. My speaking voice and singing voice do not match up. Ha ha. I chatted afterwards to people and it was a wonderful night. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience. It was lovely to chat to people who know about opera and see it regularly and really appreciate it. I stayed with Max and Judith and had their homemade sloe gin and stayed in a beautiful room with my own bathroom. It’s not my world as such. Max had been to Eton and Cambridge. It’s easy to feel inferior but it was nothing like that. I felt very much a part of things and proud to be there and they were beautiful to me. It broke down some of my barriers about not being good enough and the class system, and I’ll never forget that experience. I would just love to do more of it. I’m beginning to realise that my story is a massively important part of it and needs to be told more. It is an inspiring story that I have. One of courage, strength, tenacity, taking risks, following my heart and never giving up.

I had another chance to sing and tell my story in Newcastle on Friday night. I met Fiona in Northumberland earlier this year when I was touring for ‘Highlights North’. She founded something called ‘The Oswin Project’ www.oswinproject.org.uk. It helps people in prison to learn skills and helps them to find work. They opened a bakery in Northumberland HMP and then people work in the cafe too. I chatted to Fiona and she said she started it after spending time chatting to lots of people there who said the hardest thing is getting work afterwards, so that was the catalyst for doing what she does. Everyone has a story and we are quick to judge but if we listen to others we can really learn from each other.
I went a bit deeper with my story this time. I felt I could. I have gaslighted myself since (thinking I shouldn’t have said all I said) but people there told me they loved it and wanted to hear more. In the audience there were around 8 people who had been to Glyndebourne so it’s telling you the kind of people there. Some real ‘opera’ buffs. I had some more good chats afterwards and people took my card. One guy chatted to me about the Laidlaw Foundation and how it is helping to give music lessons to all children in schools so I’ve contacted them too. I want to sing for more children. That seems to have become a topic that’s been mentioned to me so many times this week. The prison have given the go ahead for me to go and sing there but it could take time to organise. I would like to go into more schools too and share my story and sing for people. I’ve spent the past two years planting seeds and giving cards out and am open to all kinds of opportunities coming my way. I really feel these past few months I’ve learnt to go with the flow and not be out ‘making it all happen’ anymore. I’m letting it come to me more now. Yes, I have gaps in my diary. Sometimes that does my head in a bit. I spent years being ‘busy’, but I also think balance is more important. Time out to recharge. I’m better inside myself when I get time to rest and recuperate and can give more when I do go out to sing. It’s all new ways. Less stress and more enjoyment. Trusting life and not have to drive it all the time.

I’ve got good stuff coming up. I’m looking forward to doing my ‘Julie’ show more. For the next show in Newton-Le-Willows the audience have been encouraged to do some Julie fancy dress. Looking forward to that. Let’s get this Julie show properly on the road with some real audience Julie vibes. I’ve got lots of other dates too and everything is on my website at
http://www.iamnicolamills.com Holmfirth Civic Hall is coming up November 10th. It’s like Jon says to me. ‘Look at where you are compared to this time last year’.

There’s so much good stuff going on everywhere. So many people trying to help others. I sang in Skipton for Step into Action, and they are doing so much out in the community to bring people together and help them. I just think the world is ‘team effort’. Everyone plays their part. We need to get away from ‘me, me’ me’ to ‘we, we, we’ and get into the heart and helping others. I’m always appreciative when people organise for me to sing. I know how much work goes into asking people to events and setting up events, but none of it can happen without team effort. No one can do it on their own. I can’t sing without people there too, and I need help too. Speaking of help, I just received this email saying I’ve been offered a bursary. I was expecting a NO, but it was my turn to get a YES!!

I long for a different way of being. Less focussed on stuff and money, and more on heart and service. Shining our light for others. I only need to drive on the motorway to know which camp I am in and which camp a lot of people are in, as they drive up my backside and do what they can to get a step ahead. Just stop and think about what it’s all for. Who are you helping? What are you giving to others?

Enjoy the rest of your day. Thanks for taking the time to read this. It’s just my story, and me doing my singing thingy.