I’m just on the train down to London and then on the Eurostar later over to Belgium. I’m singing at a dinner tomorrow and then will stay a few days and see friends, and then I sing in the stations in London and start rehearsing with my second pianist for my show, so it all starts again. Also promotion for my next shows in March. Got to get out there seeing how I can get it out and get more people in now I’ve done it once.

I’VE DONE MY PREMIERE!!!!!! AND I LOVED IT AND I SHONE THE SHIT OUT OF MYSELF AND THAT’S ALL I WANTED TO DO. I wanted people to leave happy and smiling and they did. They sang along, I bonded with people, I told mine and Julie stories. I got great comments from people. Here’s a few from Facebook. I stood at the door chatting to people afterwards. I loved it…..

‘Very big smiles here, well done Nicola. X’

‘We loved it ❤️🎤🎵🎶’

‘It was brilliant! We loved it 👏👏👏👏’

‘You were fucking brilliant Nic. Knew you would be.
Pip loved it too. Enjoy your evening x’

‘We loved your personality, now natural you were, and funny as well. Oh, and your beautiful voice’.

‘Thank you for such an experience and all your hard work. I wept all through ‘Something Good’. I love you’.

And this morning from the theatre:

‘We have just had a staff meeting and want to thank you for your excellent show that was very well received’

I just didn’t want to walk away disappointed with it. Myself if I messed up, my concentration slipping (I knew I need to concentrate for the 2 hours and not lose it. Stay very calm and controlled amidst a ball of nerves). I was so nervous before I went on. Half an hour before I thought ‘I’ve taken too much on, and I can’t do this’. You would not want to go through what I went through beforehand. I got 3 hours sleep the night before. Woke up at 3am and that was it, and once I was rehearsing on the stage for the sound check it suddenly hit me what I was doing. That I had to entertain people for 2 hours without anything to fall back on. No props. No costumes. I’m not allowed because of copyright. So it was just me, Gary the pianist and the music (Gary was amazing too. Very nice to work with throughout it all and he put up with me being a ‘Sopranozilla’ an hour before). I’d never sang the show through fully so didn’t know if vocally I could do it, and it’s always different on stage. You give more than in a rehearsal. I can honestly say I was terrified. Horrible to go through that. I felt the pressure, but I also know once I get on stage I am fine.

I just had to keep control. That was the main thing. But I did. I chatted easily to people, made them feel relaxed and bonded with them. That’s what I have to do and that’s where the fear comes in. I have to show who I am and be real. Rip my heart and soul out and give it to people). Every show will be different. The music will be what it is but the banter and chat will be tailored to each place and each audience as it’s in the moment. I loved it when near the end (by this point the concentration starts to slip a bit and you are fighting that. ‘Don’t slip!!!!!!!!!! Come on Nick’). I was going on about how much I loved this part in The Sound of Music and then went to sing it and was like ‘Gary, what are the words?’ I forgot. My favourite part and I forgot the words. Ha ha. The audience laughed too. Me and my friend were laughing all night about that one, sat having a few gin and tonics later in Todmorden. Went for chips and vegetable satay on the way home. Love my chips.

In the past I would have not written all this. I would have dumbed it down, but that’s changing. So sorry for being confident people etc……., but I have worked soooooooo hard for years and given it my all and never given up even though there have been times when I have been so beaten down. I’ve been told I’m not good enough so many times and I’ve listened and believed it and I have no more time for any of that shit. I am so ready to shine the shit out of what I am doing and it’s about being me. Fuck the industry and the way it is ( a little Ricky Gervais Golden Globe moment there). I will do it my way and in my way. It’s time to really be getting out there. I’m tired of waiting now. I know my show works (musically and the way I present it), so it’s just onwards with it.

I don’t know how I’ll get going now for the next shows. Get my flyers done for Hebden Bridge and get on the streets in Bury, Nelson, Hebden Bridge and Brighouse singing and saying ‘this is me. Come to my show’. Part of me is like ‘oh god, here we go again. It’s a lot of hard work and stress but I want this so I’ll do whatever I have to do.

I was thrilled to be featured in the Lytham St. Annes Express and the Blackpool Gazette. In the Lytham paper, online I was next to Andre Rieu and Gavin and Stacey (made my day that did), and listed as the Number 1 thing to see over the weekend in the area.

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I couldn’t get anyone in to review it. Damn!! I did try, but no one could make it. I’m a nobody so far so it’s hard to get people interested. I’m not a name as such, but one day I will be. Please don’t think I’m getting big headed. I’m never been big headed in my life, but I’m so proud of myself right now and it’s the best feeling when you know you are shining and doing your thing. Shining for others and making a difference. People went home feeling happier and that’s all I wanted. One lady even brought a programme she had in from Julie Andrews performing ‘My Fair Lady’ in the West End years ago. She was really excited to let me look at it. Brilliant.

So I’m on the train. Julie is no longer in my life for a few days. My only regret is that the theatre told people not to take any photos and then I forgot to say they could take them at the end so I have nothing to show but it did get recorded and there will be a demo so I will have something. I’m back to doing my opera singing thingy for people. I’ve got a few nice gigs in the diary. Singing for Disney again in a few weeks. Looking forward to that. Looking forward to getting a demo done for my show and then I can send it to lots of people and see if anyone is interested in it. People in America too. I am so determined to get it out there.

2020 will be a different year for me. It’s going to be nice to see friends over the next few days and have a few Belgian beers (I love a good knock your head off beer). My Canadian friend is over too so will see him too, and then it’s back to it. Back to living my fricking dream and making it all work……I wonder where this will all go……

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