Hello Everyone. I know it’s been a while. The last time I tried a vlog instead of a blog. I’m not sure if I will carry on doing these as it costs me around £150 a year to pay for this site and I’m not using it very much, but at the same time I don’t want to lose all the posts that I’ve written in the past. It’s been a story since 2018 doing this, when I left London with only a suitcase and a rucksack not knowing what my future held, really stepping into my own yellow brick road Wizard of Oz journey. If I do a vlog it costs me nothing but then they just go never to be seen again, but then I really enjoy writing too and being creative.

I’m now married, something I never imagined when I started out in 2018. I was 4 years single at that point, loving the freedom that it gave me. I could go anywhere I wanted and I did. Over to New York for 3 months. Now I live in the countryside looking at the sheep and cows as I leave my house loving that I get eggs from up the road outside someone’s house, and also the man who sells his homegrown veggies on his wall outside his house. No bright lights anymore for me unless work takes me there. Lockdown did that to me. Got me more connected to myself and nature. Changed the things that mattered to me. Slowed me down.

We had a beautiful wedding day. In the middle of nowhere in Wales with 25 of us. Wood fired hot tub, a field to say our ‘we take each other for better or worse’ stuff, flowers from someone in my choir, buttonholes from someone in my choir, tablecloths, cake, vintage babycham glasses, bunting, all from people in my choir. It looked cosy and it was ‘me and Jon’ to a tea. Our friends did the handfasting ceremony and we had classical music in there and some Julie Andrews too. We did all the food too and between us all prepared a feast of locally sourced produce (I love all that), tried to make pizzas in the pizza oven later on and just had a great weekend together. One of the nicest things was having my dresses made. I mean, that is true beauty and kindness. Fiona, who I have sang for lives in Kent and worked as a top end couture dressmaker for years. She offered to make me 2 dresses and did the most beautiful thing for me. I went for 2 fittings in London and then she posted the dresses up. I designed them and with her help she brought them into being. I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS. I felt gorgeous, and me. Everything linked to our wedding had meaning and was personal. I’m going to wear the blue one tonight for my gig. They are now part of my story.

It is steady work now. Opportunities have come to me and I’m just so grateful for them all. I’ve got stuff now up until November next year. People are starting to book me in advance which is a nice feeling. I’m going to Germany too at the end of May next year, down to Hereford, the Crail Festival in Scotland, and 4 events up in the Lake District too. I’m going to make little trips out of them all and get to some some stuff too whilst I’m there. I was in Mansfield this week singing for a 75th anniversary of and Inner Wheel club, Belgium also twice this month (part of a large Taptoe event in an arena for one of them), North Yorkshire a few times for the WI, Brighouse library tonight and Shropshire is coming up too, plus lots more. Everything is on my website. My little baby blue fiat 500 gets to see a few places too. It’s up and down the motorway.

I’ve also had and will be doing some workshops in schools too. I went into two primary schools for a day each and saw the difference singing made to the kids. Getting them out of sitting at a desk for a while and into letting go and feeling the power of singing. Being creative. One little boy said as I was leaving ‘Will you come to my house and sing?’ There’s less and less music in schools which I find a shame. Without me starting music lessons in my primary school I would be doing something totally different now.

At least I love what I do. I’m always scared too. I know I’m going to be vulnerable every time I get up there in front of people. I can’t hide behind anything. There are no barriers to cling on to, and I share my story too. Show people the person behind it all, in an industry when we only see the end result. There’s always lots going on behind the scenes. The good side for me is standing there doing what I do. People inviting me to sing for them. The singing itself that feeds my soul. I feel it as I do it. Going right into my system. Seeing people who had seen me before returning. Part of me thinks ‘have you not had enough yet?’ That girl who felt in the way when I was younger and not good enough.

The hard part is the worry and anguish behind the scenes. I had a rip me apart cough for the past few weeks and it swelled my vocal cords up, and when that happens you are in it. Total mental freefall. In the stress of knowing you have events coming up and hoping you are ok for them, then reaching a point where you know you are not going to be ok so you then have to let people down who have booked you. Not a nice feeling. Playing the waiting game. Losing money too. I’m back singing but I’m still not fully back yet. It knocks you back having a cough. I’ve resigned myself to realise that there are just going to be times like that. If I have bookings most of the year there are going to be some where I am sick and I can’t schedule that in and take time off. I don’t have a cover or understudy like they do at opera houses, although a cabaret singer singing on cruise ships stepped in for me and saved the day for a couple of events for me. Michelle Montuori entertained the WI ladies for me at The Milton Rooms and had them all up dancing, and then she sang at Bailden Hall too for me. I have to be aware that people have hired venues which cost money and they can’t just ‘cancel’, so a big thanks to Michelle. If anyone wants a cabaret singer for their event then you know where to look. A lovely lady too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omuVsvCbVU8

I live like a hermit though. I don’t really have much of a social life. I don’t go out where I would have to talk a lot, be in noisy places. I don’t call friends much or see them much especially if I’ve had a cough and need to rest my voice as I can’t use my voice like others do. Every bit of work I have uses it so I have to always be careful where I put myself. I want this though. All I’ve ever wanted is to sing since being a little girl so I live in the way I need to for it. I’m disciplined. One day I won’t be singing like this and it will be different, but right now I’m going for it and I will do whatever I need to do for it. I’ve worked hard for everything I’ve had all my life and now I’m reaping the harvest of my work. Word of mouth is powerful. Thanks to everyone who has passed my name on.

I was over in Knokke in Belgium last Friday for a 50th anniversary of their Inner Wheel club. I COULD NOT cancel even though I wasn’t fully recovered. Flights were booked and paid for, hotels booked, trains were booked. I had to go. I wanted to go. I’d been looking forward to it for months. Back on my old turf. I used to sing there when I lived in Belgium and someone asked me after hearing me at The Inner Wheel 100 years celebrations in Manchester. Women supporting other women. I was NOT going to miss this opportunity. FFS. Soooooo frustrating. I’m glad I went. They were beautiful to me. I loved it. I didn’t love the stress I felt at singing on a voice that was still sick (off the scale stress), but I’m glad I was there and didn’t let them down. My hotel room was massive, they looked after me so well. It was how they made me feel that I will remember. Loved. I came home with a box of top end chocolates too (me and Jon shared them and they were heaven in a box). Charlotte, the lady who asked me paid for a driver to collect me at 6.30am (had a shirt and tie on, seats all adjusted and water for me) who then drove me 120km to get to the airport so I didn’t have to stress about trains. One of the nicest gestures. A chaffeur.

I’m lucky. I’m getting to do some beautiful things with people. I’m sharing my love with the world. Singing a song. Connecting. That’s all I want. I want people to go away, feel something and feel connected to each other, with a smile on their face. Mission accomplished. My mission in this lifetime. I’ve known it for years. I feel like I planted a tree and the roots are spreading and the branches are growing. I’m just glad I had the courage to plant that tree and take the risks I took. Worth it. I dreamed a dream and it’s coming true.

All my events are on my website now. http://www.iamnicolamills.com The details are not up yet for the Lake District in February and March but I’m just getting the venues through now so I’ll sort that out. In the meantime follow me on Facebook and instagram under Opera for the People. I’ve loved writing this actually so I’m going to carry on with these and do a few vlogs. Mix and match.

The moral of my story is to do what you love and then do it for others so they can enjoy seeing you do what you love. Shine your light out into the world. There’s nothing more powerful.