Hi Everyone. I hope you are all doing ok in this craziness. People ask if things are getting back to normal for me. No. That life has gone for me. When they announced the lockdown last March the life that I had lived until that point was gone. Never to return. It’s over. For me now it’s about creating a new way to do things. Out of the system. I don’t want to be ruled by rules and restrictions just to sing a song for people, so I’m cutting out the middle man and going straight for it with people. I’m still getting asked to sing. I’ll go wherever people want me to go. Whatever makes them happy. Venues are not really opening so much, and if they are it’s to a smaller capacity and people socially distanced. Not worth it for me. I was meant to sing in Brighouse in a few weeks in a venue and it’s been cancelled. I knew it would be from the start when they were planning it and I was right.

Today I sang on the tops on someone’s land in Yorkshire. I was there last weekend celebrating the Summer solstice. Absolutely stunning. Views for miles. I camped over. The sun set at around 10pm. Beautiful. A piece of heaven virtually on my doorstep, with a pig, chickens, geese and ducks walking around too. Someone said I was an opera singer and the guy who owns the land said ‘I love opera. My mum used to take me. I’ve been going since I was 5’. To look at this guy you would never think he was into opera, so I said I would come back and sing for him and his mum, and that’s what I did today.

• 

• 

• 

• 

A few other people came too. Small and intimate, and we will do something bigger there later in the year. A picnic event. He’s got fresh spring water too so I took some for my elderflower champagne I have just left in a 20 litre bucket to start fermenting for the next 6 days, and I came away with a dozen fresh eggs too.

This coming week I am singing in Sheffield for a couple of days outside old folks homes again and then I go down to London for a couple of days to sing at two parties for the same person. Looking forward to it. Not been to London since all this began last year. I want to see what it’s like now. I’m singing for a Canadian lady in Notting Hill who I sang for a few years back and she loves live musicians at her birthday party.

On another note I also recently sent a video to The Queen at Buckingham Palace. I was told to contact the Royals by spirit. I sit in the energy of spirit most days for 30 minutes and connecting to source. They are my boss. I now have a Native American chief who comes into my energy and gives me messages, and I was told to contact The Royals and offer to sing. I have no idea why I was asked to do this, but I did it. It’s the first time I’ve done something and not understood why I am doing it. I am not a royalist by any means, but I did it and worked hard on it. A medley from the musical ‘Oklahoma’ because it was known to be favoured by The Queen and Prince Philip when they were dating in the 1940’s. It cost me a lot of money to get the music arranged, and to pay for the rights for it, and to then have it made, so for me not to understand why I was doing it messed with my mind quite a bit. Trusting in a power greater than myself. I was told to send it to the press and I sent it to everyone I could think of. ‘This Morning’, ‘GMTV’, ‘Loose Women’, ‘The BBC’, ITV News, the newspapers and local newspapers etc…. (anyone I could think of), and I heard nothing back from anyone. Not a thing. So I remain confused as to why I did it, but I sent it and got a letter back from Windsor Castle, and hope for some reason it made a difference somewhere to warrant me following the messages I was given, and for spending the money that I spent on it too. The guy who arranged the music hated it and told me everything he hated about it for 10 minutes on the phone which was a bit of a kick in the teeth too. Took me back to being in ‘the profession’ where it’s pretty normal to be ripped apart and made to feel like rubbish. Everyone else who saw it and got back to me really liked it, and I was proud of what I did. I am a working class person sending a video with lots of love and heart put into it. I am not the elite and I am not from the upper classes so I can only be me, and I was me. It was meant as a gift. I told my therapist (yes, I have a therapist now) and he said ‘fuck em’. Not everyone will like what you do, but you either let it crucify you or do it anyway’. I’m choosing the latter. I am very proud of what I did for her, and of all I’ve done this past 15 months for people and nobody can take that away from me. Here’s the video I did.

I’ve been doing some good stuff though. I sang for a group of alternatively educated kids too and their parents. In the woods. Another solstice celebration. Beautiful to hear the things they were coming out with about connecting to the heart and this being a time of transformation. I couldn’t take any photos of it and I’m not always allowed to take photos when I go and sing for people, but I am ticking over and always have stuff on each week. I was at The Piece Hall in Halifax too, helping to launch a new Vintage Shop too.

July is pretty busy too. I’ve spent this whole year going with the flow for things. No pushing or forcing. Just being and allowing, and I’ve kept going. It’s been a much better life balance for me. My whole life revolved around singing for years and I can see how that can sometimes not be the healthiest thing either, so I’m taking more time to nourish and nurture myself away from singing too. Wild water river dips, foraging and baking my own bread etc……going for walks and being in nature, playing rounders, spending more time having fun rather than worrying about having to sing somewhere the following day, and worrying about my voice. I’ve spent so much time sacrificing myself and have always put singing first. Nothing comes before my singing, but I need to let go too, and I am doing, and I’m enjoying myself. I’m not busking that much either these days. A little bit. Just not feeling it. I chose to sit in the sun instead and relax a bit. I’ve honestly spent most of my life busting a gut and pushing myself and working hard to get somewhere and burning myself out, and is it really worth it? I’ve had some great times and visited so many amazing places for work and it’s been so interesting and one big adventure with noooooooo regrets, but sometimes I’m choosing to sit in the sun and just not care for a day. I’m tired of caring so much all the time. I think we’ve all had time to put things into perspective this past year and think about our lives. I’ve done more this past year not worrying and pushing for things, so I may aswell just carry on with it.

I’m looking forward to the things I have coming up. This takes me through to the end of July, and then I don’t know. Someone has asked me to go to Kent at the end of July for a few days and sing for her, so I’m going to extend the trip and make a few more days of it. I have no idea if I will ever get back to New York. It’s two years since I left there, feeling so upset to have to leave, and now would I even want to be there when the opportunity arises? I’ve had to just surrender to what is and let my dreams go. New path. Our world has changed and there’s no going back now. Only forwards. I’m definitely more in my heart now and more in service, and my job is to serve others. I had it all worked out in my head a few years back, but we never know what is around the corner. Now I don’t even know beyond a month ahead of me for singing, and in my personal life it really is day by day. Moment by moment. No real planning, just seeing what each day brings, and still delivering pizzas two nights a week. Gives me time out from it all.

So, do keep asking me to sing for you or someone you might know. I never charge a fee to anyone. Those days are gone too. Just donations. A whip round. The universe provides me with all I need. It’s more about being in service than worrying about money. I thank everyone who has asked me to sing this past 15 months, and to all the people who keep asking me. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Follow me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/iamnicolamills and check out my website at http://www.iamnicolamills.com