It’s a while since I wrote my last blog post, and then I just spent the last few hours writing one and it deleted it. The whole thing. OMG!!!!!! Had to start again…….aaargh!!!! Now I feel like saying ‘I’ve sang for lots of people. Lucky me. Love my job. The end. Have a lovely day everyone.
So, what have I been up to? Well, definitely been doing my singing thingy for people. That doesn’t seem to stop which continues to make me happy. I’ve proved I can pretty much sing anywhere now too. I am no longer planning anything. In the past I would plan things and never leave space for things to come into my life. Now, I’m not planning much and letting things just come in. Feels different. Today, I did a workshop singing in the woods. I wanted to do some singing for me and not for other people. Connect to myself. I got it for free too, as I sang for some kids in the woods the other week and the lady offered me a place on her workshop. I’m loving that. I’ll help you with my skills, and then people pass on their skills to me. No money exchanged. Just kindness instead. I’ve got loads of inner work going on too. It’s time to shed a shit load of baggage I’ve been carrying around with me for years. From my past, patterns I’ve picked up, that really are not helping me in the slightest anymore. I kept busy for years out of fear. I sang and always made it work out of fear that I had to survive (because I did, because noone had my back), and I don’t want my singing to come from that place anymore. It’s wrong. Why I went singing for me in the woods. Just some simple songs to connect to my heart and be grounded in nature. I absolutely need to do this for me right now. Get out of the fear I used to function from and find a better way.
I think back to the last 15 years, living and spending most of my time in cities. London, Amsterdam, Antwerp, London again and then New York and I was that girl about the city, lapping it up and loving the buzz it gave me to visit loads of different places and be dead cosmopolitan and all that (I’m dead international I am). Get me, I’m living an exciting life, and I did love it. I have loved the things I have done in the past 15 years. What a story and what a journey. Now I’m out in nature, foraging for whatever goodies I can find (In my room I have seaweed drying out (god knows what I will do with that, ha ha), dandelions drying out, enough wild garlic pesto to last me a year, the buzz of making my own sourdough bread and the excitement when I get my freshly laid eggs from the honesty box near me. Could not be more different if I tried.
I’ve sang more for people this last year I think than I would have done if I’d carried on in the way things were. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I get proper pissed off at the things I lost. I mean, my Julie Andrews show. All that work, all the money I spent on getting it going, and I did it 4 times. I’m not going back in venues anytime soon either. There’s just no point at the moment. Me and looking at audiences who have to follow rules and be socially distanced etc……does not work for me. I need escapism and people joining in and a right good community atmosphere. Thank God I’ve found a way to make it work, not only for me but for others too. A lot to be said for thinking outside of the box.
I’m just going with the flow these days. I might plan some picnic concerts (the only idea I’ve got) when the weather finally decides to get warmer (omg, do we not just need some sun now), but things have been coming in this whole time. Not really stopped. Not full on with it, but not really stopped. Birthdays, anniversaries, surprises, for kids in the woods, some concerts for people on their streets, for people in old folks homes. There’s a guy who runs a chippy here and we both want to get some of the elderly who are still not really leaving their homes out for a concert, so he’s providing free chips and I’ll be doing the singing. What a combo that is. I’m hoping I can have some chips and peas too.
I was in Saltburn too last week. I like to have some time by the sea (one of my favourite things to walk along the beach and I did it barefoot this time), so I busked a bit too. I’m not as in to busking now as I used to be so I just do it a bit now. Choose the places I want to sing in where I know people will stop to listen. What’s happened this last year is that I’ve got used to audiences now and people actually listening and part of me just can’t be bothered with standing there anymore hoping people stop to listen. I need more now. Well, one woman enjoyed it because she posted a post on the Saltburn page and next thing I knew I was in the Teeside Gazette the following day. https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/saltburn-shoppers-reduced-tears-breathtaking-20562806 The day after that, I was back singing outside the glamour of Sainsbury’s this time with an audience, and some armed with their deckchairs. Love it. I did that and then went to sing for the parents of the lady who got me in the paper. Just a couple of songs for them and the others all stuck in their flats, not leaving them so much. Please God, let this shit end soon. Not right that people are stuck indoors so much. If that was me I would go mental. Here’s me singing ‘You’ll never walk alone’ for them.
This weekend I’m doing a little singalong concert for kids and their families (always get a bit nervous about stuff like this in case they get bored), and then I’ve got a few things in and will be back at The Piece Hall to help Denise open her new vintage shop there. Some Vera Lynn songs and that kind of thing, and I’ll be togged up in a bit of vintage stuff too. Step back in time. That’s the 29th.
On another note, I got to work with a pianist again. Oh, the absolute bliss. To be in a rehearsal too. To work on stuff. I love what I do, but have sung the same songs over and over again now for a few years, so to have some different stuff to rehearse was a very welcome change. It was for my video for Prince Philip for the birthday he never got to. He only had to manage for another few months, and I paid for all this music to be arranged too. How inconsiderate of him. Ha ha. So that idea was out of the window, but never to be beaten, I just thought I’ll do it anyway. Bugger it. Not got much to lose.’ I lost most of what I had last year so cracking on with it. The Queen can have it instead. A little memorial video of her and Prince Philips ‘when they were courting music’.
They both went to see the musical ‘Oklahoma’ in 1947 and apparently loved it, so that’s what I’ve done for her. I’ve recorded the music now in venue with a grand piano a two minute walk from where I live and it’s being edited now. I have no idea really why I am doing this video. I was guided to do it by spirit, and they were insistent so I am. I’m going to contact people in the press too. Like I say, I have nothing to lose. It’s The Queen’s official birthday on June 12th so I will do it for that. I may be wasting my time and money and I may not. We’ll see.
So that’s my life right now. I’m getting some lovely feedback from people. One lady sent me an email the other day saying how I had reignited her passion to want to bring music to others herself (very humbling and rewarding to have comments like that),
and there was one guy I went to surprise for his birthday with a cd and a few songs (his daughter had got in touch when he had heard me singing somewhere recently and told her how much he enjoyed it, so she asked me to post a cd and I said I would deliver it myself and sing him a few songs on his birthday). So I went along, sang and we had a chat afterwards and he told me he wanted to make a donation, and then got £80 out of his wallet and insisted I have it. I know we all need money but it’s not my motivation really, but I walked away feeling really uplifted that someone could be so kind to me. And then I went to deliver some pizzas and my feet were back firmly on the ground. Julie Andrews was told always to stay humble and never get too full of herself, and I think I’ll stick to that myself. Keep sharing the gifts I have and doing my bit to help others, so do let me know if I can sing anywhere for anyone you know or if you want a concert where you are.
Thanks ever so much.