Hi Everyone,

It’s Saturday night and I’m in front of the tv learning words at the same time. I sing for the boss of Disney in London at the end of the month at his retirement party.

Peter, the boss, heard me sing outside Hammersmith station when I was still living in London and asked me to sing at the Disney Christmas party in 2018, and now for his retirement so I’m pretty pleased to be asked back. His assistant sent me a list of his favourite songs and I can’t help but want to please him so I’m learning some especially for him. If I can put a smile on his face I’ll be happy and I want to go the extra mile for people. I’ll also be singing at a charity event for Forget Me Not Hospice in February in Halifax and Dwell Time Issue which is a mental health event have asked me to sing in Huddersfield train station. I haven’t chatted to them yet about the last one. Just been asked but the wording was a bit corporate and I really can’t stand all that. ‘If it’s something you’re interested in then let’s talk’. ‘let’s talk’. Eeeurgghh. That kind of thing grates on me and I have a feeling they are going to ask me to sing for free, so we’ll see. No more singing for free unless my heart feels it’s the right thing to do. I hope I am proved wrong by my thinking from the email. I’m learning to stay open.
Right now I have 15 more venues to organise for my show and get people in for it. I’ve spent loads on marketing, spent hours organising with the venues, sorting out ticket links, working it all out. My first show went brilliantly and I have had nothing but good comments back about it and I was thrilled, but I made no money for myself. I broke even which is great for my first show. The theatre sent me two emails telling me how many people had commented to say how much they enjoyed it too. This really helps with my confidence in taking it forward now I know the show itself works for people, and I can keep learning now every time I do it. Here’s a review too.

‘We’ve had many comments from those that attended to say they fully enjoyed your show’.

‘From the moment Nicola and her pianist burst onto the stage with a shirt compilation of everyone’s favourite tunes, we were then immersed in anything and everything Julie Andrews, from charming anecdotes of Julie’s early life and a musical meander through the films and stage shows, such as ‘The Sound of Music, ‘Mary Poppins’, ‘Camelot’ and ‘My Fair Lady’.
What Nicola brings is sheer joy, as well as an amazing voice……and there are some great sing along moments too. I personally laughed out loud, and shed a tear. Nicola is the most charming down to earth diva you will ever meet.’

I do feel like this year will be different. It is already. I’ve been asked to do my show at another venue in London later this year, and once I get my demo video I’m going to send it to as many people as possible. Contact people around Europe too and start contacting people in America. Look up places in Amsterdam where I used to live and I’ve also decided to contact Andre Rieu and see if he would be interested in doing a Julie Andrews section. I have worked out I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Contact the press too. I’ve been asked to sing at more private events too this week from recommendations or people who have heard me at other events. Good. This is what I want. Time to really start getting ‘me’ out there. I already have my ‘no’ if I don’t even try so I really do have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

I used to have a lot of wtf am I doing days. It’s been nearly two years now of being on the road and not having a fixed address. About 75 places later and many amazing experiences, it is also hard doing what I do. It’s hard mentally but I am always working on myself too. On the inner stuff. My fears and my blocks and why the anxiety comes up and I did a lot of work last year in my cave. I need cave time. I need to go within and I really feel like I’ve done the work I need to do. My wtf days are getting less and less. I had one the other day and it hit me full force and I was back into old thinking patterns, but I was in it not enjoying it, but at the same time thinking ‘this is just my ego doing it’s shit on me.’ Fear, and I don’t live in fear. Nothing to be scared of really. I live in excitement of what’s ahead and loving doing my thing for people.

What set me off really was I called my Mossley venue to see if any tickets had sold and to ask about a technician for sound and lighting (that’s a whole other thing and right now I don’t have the money to get someone for it until I sell more tickets), and then the guy said he hadn’t sold any tickets because he had no tickets to sell. OMG!!!!! Why didn’t you say? It was one of the first venues I booked and the guy said send me your flyers, a banner and posters and I’ll sort it all out for you. He never said make sure you send me some tickets too. I should have thought too and I won’t do it again for any other venue, and I will always have an online ticket link from now on. He said he had had enquiries too. I was like ‘ffs, I could have been selling tickets if you had said (I never actually said that)’, and then had to work out how to design and get tickets to him. I did it and it was a good job I called now and not a few weeks before it. I am learning every step of the way. Doing the show is the easy part. Learning the rest of how it works is a learning curve, but I’m glad I will know how it all works, but I felt pretty done in that day. All my fearful thinking came knocking on my door triggered by one thing.

My big challenge now is getting people in. If I knew I could get good audiences it would take a lot of the stress away. I have pianists, theatres and technicians to pay and on my wtf am I doing day that gets on top of me, but overall I am a million times less worried than I used to be. I am so ready to shine and fly and keep doing my thing more and more for people. There’s a continual glow in my tummy. A glow of excitement and a feeling of ‘I have nothing to lose’. I just need to go for it. I just want to squeeze every drop out of my life and I just don’t care about houses, cars, stuff, and having things. All that stuff just bores me and is a waste of my energy.

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I’ve been back on my travels again too. I was back in Belgium singing at a lunch and got a beautiful bunch of flowers (I love flowers and if anyone ever gives me flowers it makes me really happy), and caught up with friends too, then I was in London for the weekend singing in stations and rehearsing with my second pianist, Andrea for my show. Much easier now that I’ve done it once and know how it all goes together, so I got some time in Greenwich too looking at the Queen’s house. Up to Derby to see my friend Gaynor for a few days and to sing in Nottingham and go in the underground caves, and then Sheffield on my way home. Back on the streets a bit. There was a lady who sat the whole time listening in Sheffield but what really touched me was that she eventually got chatting to another lady who was blind or had some kind of visual impairment. I love it when strangers start bonding and chatting to each other, and then she came and bought the lady a cd as a surprise and later told me that the ladies daughter is physically abusing her. I don’t love that part but I’m glad somebody took the time to listen to this lady and help her a bit. So much shit in the world and people being mean to other. I can’t stand that.

I’ve been round the shops and places to put my posters and flyers up in Hebden Bridge for my show on the 7th March and there’ll be a banner up in front of the church. Phew!!!!! I can’t really do more than I am doing. I sang for an old lady one time in the square in Hebden Bridge. She called and asked when I would be singing again. She lives on the hills and comes down once a week so I arranged to do it especially for her one day, and we had a chat too. She then told all her neighbours apparently and her hairdresser who contacted me for a CD, so I went to have my haircut too with her and she said she’ll sell tickets for me too and tell all the ladies who come in for their haircut. Ha ha. I love it when that kind of stuff happens. All about the people and building up bonds with them. I was back at a Music for the Many concert last night too (as a spectator this time), and did some promo there and I’ll be singing on the streets of Hebden Bridge, Bury and Burnley to get it out there for my shows there. It will work. I will make sure it does. I know I have a product that works so I just have to keep developing that and I know I can connect with people too and that’s what really matters. Being back on the street was good this week. I love seeing people crying and coming together. This one always seems to get a crowd wherever I go…..thanks to Pavarotti..check my video out (I do cringe slightly saying that. Never really been one to say ‘get me’).

https://www.facebook.com/iamnicolamills/videos/553580345371664/

I’m always busy in my mind. It never really switches off. Next week I’ll start making lists of who I can send my video to and think of getting a marketing pack together. I don’t know how to do all this yet or what works best but I know I’ll work it out, because there’s nothing I want more……to keep making people happy. For the people…..as Judy Garland said: