Hello. I’ve had a cracking day today. I’m sat in a friends place near Newport in Wales, where I am in my own episode of Gavin and Stacey listening to the accent around me. I love it. Dealt with crappy trains again running late (just tired of so many delays) from Manchester but I got here and managed to get a spot on the street before it was too late.

I just needed to sing today. My heart needed it. I sang in the pouring rain for the second half of it, but I didn’t care. I just needed to pour my heart out regardless of who stopped to listen. I bought a book this week from a homeless guy who has just got a place to live after four years and needed some help, so I bought his book. He used to be a journalist for OK and other magazines, but his story is not about how he became homeless but what life was like on the street. The reality. I don’t like the system we live in. It’s not right. It’s not fair and people are struggling. I see it all the time so his book really got to me, and I needed to sing all of that out, and feel like I could do my bit to help others.

I’m not a consumer and just don’t need so many things but I can go and sing for people. I got a great response today and had forgotten how much the Welsh appreciate singing. The woman from Iceland (the shop) asked me to sing Ave Maria and I had my usual many ‘you need to do X Factor or Britain’s got Talent’ comments. I used to hold back but now I want to say that I don’t like these programmes. People like Simon Cowell only care about themselves and money. They don’t care about the people they manipulate through wanting some kind of fame. I did BGT once and in the end was so glad they weren’t really interested because I’m not willing to sacrifice any part of myself for fame. I love that I stand more and more in my power and do it my way and that’s the only way it’s going to be from now on. When others get hold of you they need you to comply so it works for them so you are a commodity, and I’ve worked hard to find my real voice and stance and who I am that I can’t just give I it up and lose who I am. I feel so incredibly happy when I sing for people in my way, and it humbles me to interact with people when I do it. I am grateful for every penny that people give to me because they are the ones who have kept me singing. One woman said thanks to me and I said thanks to you too. I can’t do it if people don’t respond so it’s a two way thing. I even sat next to a woman on the bus who started talking about me to her partner not realising I was sat next to her. Thank god she said good stuff. Ha ha.

I’m staying at a friends place tonight and she had asked me if I would sing for her next door neighbour who has terminal cancer. I went next door and the lady had no idea I was going. Her daughter and granddaughter were there so I sang some Il Divo for her (at her request), and did ‘A Spoonful of Sugar’ dancing with the little girl. Humbling, and in the past I would have been more in the sorrow of that situation, but I love that I have gifts I can use to help others. I went round the corner for a curry walking on cloud nine to have sang for her. Same with singing for the dementia group in Hebden Bridge on Tuesday. When I give to others it gives ten times more back to me.

I went to stay with a lady who had heard me sing in Harrogate. We stayed in touch and she invited me up to stay for a night. You never know how it will with people be but I need to be open too. What a beautiful lady. I sat there like lady muck being waited on and looked after and she drove me here, there and everywhere. She even made me a packed lunch for the day after, then decided to drive me the 90 minutes drive home and when I opened my packed lunch later on she had put an envelope in with £100 in. We had shared stories and I could see this lady had also had her battles in life but did lots to help others and I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with her. I learn from others all the time. Her kindness blew me away. Thank you Susan Stead.

It’s two weeks to my show too. Woooooooooo!!!!! Said with a mixture of excitement and hoping people like it and I can be entertaining enough for them. I do feel the pressure too because I have nothing to hide behind. It’s just me, but I am looking forward to it (hoping it’s ready, hoping I can keep people hooked and they join in a bit, hoping I can sing it all well and I don’t make mistakes, hoping people enjoy it). I have had some good opportunities to promote myself including being on BBC Radio Lancashire on Monday from 8.15 to 9pm (I’m about an hour and 19 minutes in if anyone wants to listen).

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p07s7q34

I was thrilled to be given such a big slot where I could talk about what I am doing in between songs. I had no idea what they would ask me so had to think on my feet but I really enjoyed it. When I feel like I am doing things linked to getting my singing out there I am happy. It’s the only thing I want (that and a fella at some point would be nice only if it’s the real deal, and to live in America). I also got a call from the people at the Lytham and Blackpool paper to also do a feature. Great!!

I’m singing at The Piece Hall in Halifax on Christmas Eve at 2.30 as part of the ‘Christmas Eve big sing’, and then there’ll be a few more slots on the street before the end of the year and then that’s it. The end of a pretty interesting year.

I hope 2020 makes my two years of being on the road start to make sense and for some of the jigsaw pieces to start fitting together. I’ve just moved again (to Todmorden with a small car load of stuff to my name), I’ve spent 3 months of this year in New York, I’ve written my own Julie Andrews show and got it in places, and I hope I can sit here this time next year and be in a very different place. Ideally singing more and more for people. I’m proud of what I’ve done, and that I’ve had to courage to follow what my heart and gut tell me to do. This for me is the only way I can do things to feel happy.
I wish you all a lovely Christmas and thanks for the support and for following my story. Lots of love to you all……

For more info and for tickets for ‘A Spoonful of Julie’ check out my website at http://www.iamnicolamills.com