Good morning. I’ve just woken up after 10 hours sleep in my own bed (well, what I can say is my own bed right now as we know it’s not my own bed). I like it when that happens. A good sleep. The best medicine. I’ve been down to London, over to Belgium, back to London and back home last night. It’s been a great week. Sang for lots of people, and no singing on the streets. Great to just have a break from that. Real audiences. People who came to watch me sing. I did a great gig for ‘Music for the Many’ in Todmorden last week.
Lots of arrangements done for me by Daniel Bath who runs it. It was to raise money so more and more kids can get free music lessons if they want them.
That was my story too. I went through the whole system from the age of 7 until 16 having free music lessons until I got serious about singing and washed up in a restaurant all weekend when I was doing my A levels to pay for lessons before I went to music college.
I remember a guy once in Central Park putting something in my box and saying ‘that’s for your parents for all the money they spent for your lessons’. I paid for all my singing lessons. Every single one. That’s how much I wanted it, even from an early age. My parent’s didn’t support me, financially or emotionally. I’m doing something called a ‘Human Library’ next Saturday where I get 30 minutes to tell my story. It’s certainly A STORY!!!
So my ‘Music for the Many’ thing means something to me. Daniel had arranged all my songs for a small band. Just great. I’ve been singing with backing tracks now mostly for years so the luxury of having a band was just brilliant. His arrangements were also lovely and I was shocked by how good they were. We’d sat in the pub 6 weeks prior talking about it and I was like ‘ok, if you want to arrange stuff it has to be good etc….’ I didn’t realise how talented he was, and we managed to raise some good money for the cause. Win, win.
My Canadian friend was also visiting for the week which was lovely so I took him to York (can sing wherever), Ilkley (I was meant to sing at the Addingham Beer Festival but the guy who said he would pick me up on the day just didn’t get back to me. I was like wtf…..so I just sang on the streets there instead), and Haworth (home of the Bronte sisters).
Got to show him some of our history whilst he’s here. Walks over the hills and all that.
I’m sat here frustrated. I could just be all fake and not really say what’s going on but then what is the point in that? One of my friends commented on my posting about the people in my last post in Wimbledon. Should I have said it. Yes, I should. I don’t want to sing for people who put me in a corridor. I want to sing for people who want to listen. I had such a great week. Singing lesson, over to Belgium singing for two sets of people.
The first ones it’s my third time there and they want me to go every year and then I sang for another group of over 100 people in a place called Merchtem. I am pleased that I still get asked to sing there by people as I left 3 years ago. I got another email last week from someone saying:
Dear Nicola,
Happy to hear from you!
I immediately thought of you for a singing performance for my parents 60 th wedding anniversary.
Because for my 55th birthday you sang in the Opera 3 songs for me and my girlfriends and I still have very good memories of that performance.
Hopefully on another occasion you will be able to sing for us.
I wish you all the best .
Kind regards
Nadine
I can’t do it as I am working here the day after but I still keep being asked. I got two standing ovations this week. One in Belgium and one in London. I did my gig on Friday in London at a beautiful church. A lady had asked me after hearing me sing in New York. My first singing teacher was there and my current singing teacher, plus people I knew in Belgium and someone I sang with in Oldham Girls Choir who brought her little girl and husband (her little girl was dying to sing Do, Re, Mi so we did a duet together and rocked it), plus a whole new set of people.
Good. Glad to have new people. My job is to bring joy and uplift people and if I do that then I know I’ve done my job. A sign to me is if people want to come and chat afterwards and tell me about themselves and virtually every one did. I know I’ve done my work, and shone my light. I was flying high inside afterwards. Just ecstatic.
I just hope some more doors start to open from it all, because I’m ready and I need it now. I just NEED it!!!!
Nothing else. Singing for the people. I was thinking yesterday how the critics hated the film ‘The Sound of Music’. It was the people who made it what it was. In ‘the profession’ as such I am a nobody and have to the music world, nothing of any real interest on my CV. My agent said to me at one point ‘you’ve done nothing really’. Bit of a joke really when he is very good at ‘doing nothing’ for me except taking my money, but I know what I do for people is a good thing. I know I am on the right track and I know what I am doing is going somewhere, because it’s real and it’s from the heart and it’s not based on money and being fake. Thus lies my frustration.
I spent the last few weeks contacting places for my Julie show. Lots of theatres and churches. 99% don’t reply. The ones that do, sometimes the theatres are too expensive or they don’t have the music licence I need, or they do nothing to help with marketing, or they say they will call back and don’t etc…….so they are out. Then I have some where it may work and we kind of arrange a date but then nobody has confirmed anything from there, so I’m sat waiting to hear back. I thought I had 5 places going but I’ve only got one that is fully confirmed, so tomorrow I’ll be back on the phone and emailing again. All day this time. I am so fricking determined to get this out there that I will not stop trying. Every day I just look up a new area in the UK and look up what theatres are there. I ask friends who live in different places what places hold concerts. What theatres, churches, arts centres, festivals all hold concerts. If any of you can suggest places to me then fire away. Please. After next year I will no longer sing on the streets. I need more and I’m not willing to settle anymore for not having it. It’s time for change.
Next week I’m singing back at St. Edwards church in Lees (the primary school I went to). Friday 18th at 7.30pm. Promoting my new cd. Also getting good feedback from that too.
Don’t get me wrong. There are times mid song where I suddenly get a bolt of anxiety in my mind. The voices that tell me I am not good enough and the negativity will always be there.
I’m never going to be someone who doesn’t worry about it all. I pace and pace before I sing somewhere because of my nerves. Writing positive stuff about myself is a step forward to me. My mind says ‘people will think you are bigheaded’. No, I’m not. I’m just learning to love myself and see the good in what I do and be proud of myself. The messages given to me as a child were not positive ones about myself so I work hard to change the way I see myself. I can see how much stronger I am and I feel powerful in the right way. To serve others and help them and I just want to do it.
I will make it all happen. There’s no question about that. I’ve always been a fighter and I always will be.
Check out my website at www.iamnicolamills.com and follow me on Facebook at Nicola Mills Opera for the People.
Nicola, I was lucky enough to hear you singing in the street in Ilkley, when the Addingham Festival spot did not come off, their loss was certainly my gain, it brought huge joy to me, I took your card and googled you when I got home, I totally now understand why you are doing this, to me it’s loving kindness in action, thank you, Josy
Thank you Joanne. I’m trying to get my show into ChristChurch. I called them and the guy said he would call back but he didn’t. I’ll call again tomorrow. I would love to do it there.
Beautiful performance Nicola x
You did the right thing by calling those folks out at Wimbledon…. As we’ve been learning, not every audience–and/or opportunity–is right for you and it’s okay to let those folks know to “lose your number.” We also say, “Not all money is good money,” so your pride is worth way more than to endure some horrible situation. I am glad that you are back doing what you love to people who actually care to hear you. Thanks for continually inspiring us!