I’ve come to Bryant Park today to write my blog. The weather is starting to get really nice and it’s good to be outside.
My housemate is a naggy bitch and I’m tired of her constant rules. Don’t leave my toothbrush not in the stand, don’t wash the pans a certain way, don’t have my shoes on, don’t have raw meat on a chopping board, can I turn my iPad down when I’m watching something on it and now ‘do I really have to sing in the apartment? Can I just go on the rooftop?’ Yep, no problem. Can do what I want up there so leave me alone bitch. The other week she told me how easy going she is…….it’s amazing how people can convince themselves of anything. Just leave me alone.
I’ve enjoying my time here though. I’m doing what I can to get my shine on every day. Go out, be a good vibe, be happy and help others. Even if it’s just helping someone on the subway or chatting to someone. We can really go out and make a difference to people. The little things. That’s where I’m coming from with my singing. There to help. I called a guy on Monday for his birthday after his friend asked me to. She heard me singing in Union Sq in 2016. This guy was called Lew and was 88 years old. I loved it. Called him, had a chat, sang a song, lovely interaction. The video is below….and the lady has invited me to her Passover dinner. Cool. Cannot wait to be part of that. Real and much better than being paid to sing one song down the phone.
I’m going with the flow and not planning too much which Is leaving me open for things to come in. Yesterday I had no real plans except to sing at 72nd st and my whole day became filled. Saw a friend at the homeless soup kitchen I go to. We got chatting the first time I was here last year and would bond every week and then my last trip I never saw him. I was gutted and this time I popped in and he was there, so we have chats for a few hours in the park and just talk about the deep stuff. He came to watch me sing and then we sat in Verdi Sq talking until 7pm and then it was beers in Brooklyn with Ellen. None of it planned.
I sang at a funeral after someone heard me in Central Park and I did an audition too. For a company based in Florida who do opera and crossover concerts so I felt good about singing for them. I did Julie Andrews, Operetta and opera so there was a good mix and they kept asking for more, and I know I made a good impression because they said at the end that I had looked like I enjoyed it. I did actually even though I was scared too. The agent was in so it was good for him to see how I audition too and they asked him to send them my resume. Regardless of what happens I am glad I made a good impression. I think it’s from singing for ‘the people’. I can just be me and know how to be me and because I am singing the stuff I want to it helps me to feel confident. I told them what I do and that I really enjoy it. I know more than anything that this is the direction I want to go in.
I don’t fit into any boxes. Not the opera one or the broadway one. I fit into my own. The only thing that’s giving me some stress at the moment is the trying to get a Julie Andrews show off the ground. How do I even start? I see it happening but the steps I need to take I just don’t know. I have to get people to help me write the musical arrangements and help me build something up and that’s where I’m stuck with it. I keep praying just to be sent the right people and to know what to do. I just know I have to do it my way from now on. If anyone tries to control me it just doesn’t work. I’m too independent and know my strengths.
I had a friend this week who interferes and tries to help with stuff I don’t want the help with and it annoys me. Anyone who tries to control is out. It’s one of the worse things you can do to me. I will push anyone away who does it to me because I didn’t go through all the pain of working on myself to be forced to do it somebody else’s way. Nooooo way!!!
I went to see the band Muse too at Madison Square Gardens. My brother got me into them and I love them. All against the control system we live in, being made into slaves to feed the rich capitalist society we live in. Do your own thing, follow your heart and soul. That’s my way, and they were brilliant. One of the best bands I’ve seen live. Their album ‘Resistance’ has loads of classical bits in it so it’s really lovely music too.
I have 9 weeks left here. I have no idea if anything will happen to give me an idea of what to do next before I leave. Will I just be coming home and then that’s it? I just don’t know. When I have my bad days that really gets to me. Has this all been for nothing? Will it ever actually lead to anything? That’s the fear talking. I don’t need to care really either. I’m here now and today is on my doorstep. Let the tomorrows unfold as they want to. I have no control really. Only on what I can do today. That’s why I’m choosing to get my ‘shine on’, and I can tell you now, it’s a better place to be coming from.
For more info on what I’m doing check me out on Facebook and my website is www.iamnicolamills.com. I’ve got some nice things coming up when I go back to the UK. Singing in Halifax, Bolton, Oldham, Romiley, Birmingham and Nottingham at various events. I need to get them on my website. The main thing is I’m singing and I’m singing for the ‘people’. That makes me happier than anything…….oh and I met Rachel Weisz too from ‘The Favourite’ who was sat listening to me sing (no idea who she was until she was leaving) and then passed Hugh Grant in the park. Woohoo!!!! If anyone needs a boost of motivation then this is the video for you. Be warned though. This woman doesn’t hold back (lmao).